Looking back on my posts was a little fun, least to say...
It certainly reminds me of my past events, and of course, feelings.
I guess something is wrong with me when I was writing in my previous post... the second previous one. I would like to clarify things, which had given misconceptions to some people. Guess only Aizhen visits my blog nowadays, just wanna say thanks to her. And I don't go blog-hopping. Let's just say I'm busy with fanfics?
Anyway, I sure sounded angry. And despo, which was not what I wanted to actually express myself. Besides, it's not as if I don't have friends in class. Nicole and the rest make good company too. Maybe I wasn't being fair to the others. After all, it's still little hard to accept the fact that we aren't such good friends anymore. Was anyone offended? Sorry.
But still, I just don't understand how others can just, erm... hate me? I seriously don't know a better word. To me, I'm seem to be rather quiet in a sense, seldom mixing around and a bit emo? A loner too, I think. Sigh, that thought alone makes me cry.
Fine, guys, hate me all you want. I don't care about pride anymore. I just wish I could find someone to depend on in hard times. People say friends are forever, but is that true? No one can actually prove it, can they?
And no, I'm not saying that Sonia or Coco are making puke or whatever. They aren't that hyper, are they? I'm saying people like, never mind, you guys don't know her anyway. Oh yah, I typed that wrong thing too. It's not hyper, it's bossy and a little hyper sometimes... Like .... from that school. Am I like that?
Calling themselves foursome... I guess that wasn't wrong too. I once called the four tallest girls in my class back a few years ago the 4 tall ones of ... That was till p3, since one transferred out at the end of p3... And we played the lame king and his family games too... Though it was almost half the class. I guess, I'm so hateful sometimes, nah, just hate me, people. Sometimes, I wish all these wasn't happening to me. Then again, if it did not, am I even alive? To say that life is unfair? Nah people, sometimes, it's just that life is the way it is. Seriously, you wouldn't think of applying that method of .... you watched at Mdm Rafidah's house.
If anyone still hates me or whatever after reading all these crap, I suggest you stay far far away from me, there's seriously at least 75% that you will be pissed by me again.
I'm not going for pity or whatever, I just want to make it clear that, I DO NOT HATE ANYONE. If I do, it's just a moment of folly? Nah, that will sound like I'm pushing away the blame.
Anyway, I don't suppose people will actually believe me. Do as you like, I have given up on this world. It's all fate, if it decrees you that we can't be friends, then I'm sorry. Don't bother cheering me up either. It just doesn't work. I will always have the subconscious thinking that it's all an act, sorry. I miss all the fun we have had... The hard times and all.
Was is something I said? Or anything I did? Guys, if you dislike any point of me, please tell me. I want to change for the better. It's just... so difficult. Without... Sigh.

Someone, kill me now. I don't want to live anymore.

I just don't possess the courage to do so myself.

This post was made just to clarify people's questions, or anyone else's if they happen to read it. I hope that you guys understand it now. I just want to live my life in peace.
I just want friends. SORRY to all.

If you are asking why am I posting this, let me tell you. I just read a touching fic which had inspired me to reflect on my past actions. It was certainly enlightening... And sad. Characterdeaths, angst... Abusive people are the worst kind of human beings. They are such beasts, aren't they?

I just want to apologise again. SORRY, people.

PS: Hey, my posts are long again.