Oops, I realise that I haven't been posting regularly nowadays, right? Never mind, I shall try to do so more often. Let me start by posting on yesterday's band practice.
Since the concert is nearing by, we are all excited. And pretty nervous too, I guess.
How can I be nervous when I'm only playing two pieces? And acting as a tree in the Morning Madness skit? By the way, I volunteered for it, in a way since I was ever so reluctant to act as the Mother. Yifan got the role instead since she is taller... Heehee.
We spent most of our practices doing self-practice though. It was plain BORING.
Let me see, it's about a day away from the concert, gosh, hope that it will be a success...
Well, I have "new" friends in band now too. Rouyi, Yifan and Mae.
We are always spending our time together too. Like having lunch and all.
Yesterday, Yifan and I went for lunch since Mae needs to get home while Rouyi needs to go IMM. Yifan was supposed to have sectionals too, though I thought Ms Lai said no already... Then we were debating whether she should go or not, and finally decided not to, and spent lots of time thinking off an excuse. Lol, I told her to use menses as an excuse and she did, haha.
I also posted my cheque for my Japanese course since I can't promote to the next level... Shit. But then again, I couldn't really understand sometime, and my reactions are somewhat lagging since I am always too tired. Perhaps, after this concert, my grades will improve?

PS: I certainly realised that nowadays, my posts are very short. Very very short indeed.

I hate this life. I hate myself for feeling so useless... so helpless...
Why can't I just control my emotions...?
Yeah, I guess I'm feeling depressed again, but not that serious though. Only some things can actually trigger me to feel so. Like Chingyee's posts.
THEY really hurt me BAD, this time.
Xiuyi and Chingyee were best of friends with me... But now, I'm like a total stranger to them, only speaking a few words everytime we meet. They are always together with Coco, Sonia... or Aiyin and Huichoo too in class or band. And Aiyin was supposed to be my friend since Primary 1 too. Am I that worthless?
I may sound like a desperate person. HECK CARES.
THEY call themselves the FOURSOME, totally ignoring my feelings. As if I wasn't friends with them at all... All of them.
I can't define my feelings towards them, is it hate? Dislike or just purely jealous? I sure hope it's neutral though, but it can't be true, can it?
Why is all this happening to me? Am I really that horrible till an extent that they can't even talk to me nicely anymore?
I guess it all has to do with personality..? I don't people who are too overly hyper, especially girls. THEY ACT CUTE, making me PUKE. Argh, I just don't like to be around them. Wonder if Sonia and Coco is like that? Not that they are making me puke, but I don't feel right around them.
Oh what am I saying now? I'm not critisizing them, am I? Pardon me if you think so! I guess I'm emotionally unstable now...

Well, I really want to thank Rouyi, Yifan, Mae for sticking by me in band, you guys are such nice people... and Peishi, Peixuan, Nicole, Leshan for being friends with me in class... It was nice of you guys...

Well, this post is more on my thoughts on my secondary school, Fuhua. After all, my first year had just passed. This was what I wrote in my school forum; a student asked us to rate the school, based on a maximum of 100 points. Do tell me your comments on the tagboard too.

"Honestly, I don't even know why I chose this school at all. Yes, many of my 'advisors' told me somewhat weirdly, saying that Fuhua is quite a good school. Crap. It can't even compare to Commonwealth SS. And Commonwealth SS sucks. But then again, how many schools in Singapore actually 'rock'?

To even find a perfect school is impossible, and I mean worldwide. They aren't such things. No matter how good the school is, it would still receive complaints here and there. Human beings are as such, nothing can actually satisfy their wants. Why do you think global warming is occurring then? Think, people, think.

With me being a junior, I shall say, or rather, preach no more. Just my thoughts on giving the ratings... I would say 55? Well, it is the best one around here NOW... Teachers are human beings too, so of course they are biased. You can't expect everyone to like you, can they? I used to think that way, since I was the top student in my primary school, but after merging, I knew better. Of course I was jealous, I mean, after 5 years of being favored by teachers, given the best of opportunities, like being a prefect and becoming the asst. head in P5. But, when our schools merged in P6, I was thrown to the ground by the 'horrifying' truth.

Ok, perhaps that was exaggerating. But my point is, no one is perfect. Even the most 'perfect' person can be tainted. So why is there such quotes like, 'Practice makes perfect' when they say, 'Nothing is perfect in this world'? What’s the point of getting into 'good' schools like Nanhua or Raffles when you are still gonna complain a lot there. Nothing changes the fact that YOU hate school. Just my opinion, but I don’t understand the need of getting into good schools, besides the 'pride and glory' you’re gonna get, the education may be pretty much the same. After all, you are taking the same exams. And social life skills, or any other that you might need later in life can be learnt. Isn’t that the reason why we have this 'Lifelong Learning' thingy?

Don't get your hopes high on getting into a 'perfect' school. It doesn't exist. What may seem perfect on the surface does not mean it is. Anyway, to me, Fuhua isn’t as bad as most of you claim it to be. Everyone wants things to go their way, so naturally, when things happen in a negative way, you would be angered, and starting criticizing like there's no tomorrow. Of course, this isn't everyone's fault. The school does need to improve more on its facilities. A school with only like 7,8 years of history, its facilities are horrendous. Older schools have better facilities, and bigger buildings. Ours look like a 50-year old one.

Did we choose the wrong school? But then again, are there better choices?
I don't know."

Once again, I have awed myself. Just kidding. But it did surprised me though. I didn't know my English language command was that good. Lol, maybe not. Anyway, Open House is coming up and I have a rehearsal tomorrow. I will try to update about it ASAP, since I have a 3-day-2-night camp coming up on Monday.

Argh, I hate camps.