Sorry for not updating during the past few days... But school's really been busy.
Got lots of homework just for the first week, and had a trip to the science centre for a lesson too.
Well, school hasn't really been great for me...
I feel lonely.
It seems to me that everyone's hating me, or just leaving me all alonely by myself, like a lost sheep. No one cares, and I'm feeling miserable. Even ChingYee and XiuYi did that unknowingly, but I'm not planning to let anyone in on it. Even though I'm blogging, I'm treating it as my diary.
It may seem to be depression to you, but I can assure you that it's so not.
I think I seriously need to escape from reality now, or some time later. I feel so odd, and sick... Sick of my lonely self, sick of myself thinking of negative matters... It doesn't matter if I'm good in studies or not, nothing ever helps. Nothing did.
I really wished that I can slit my wrists sometimes, but I don't want to destroy my future. Only did it with something blunt, so it creates a red line over the area, nothing serious. Using my fingernails helped a lot too... I just feel like that, and don't try to do anything to me about it, I'm gonna fix this up myself... Heck, even Eugene hasn't spoken to me since Sunday when we... erm, chat? Anyways, I shall lock myself up in my virtual world and put up a mask... Hope that it cures my depression state. Writing helps, but singing sad songs just release my floodgate. But singing helps, though when it comes to happy songs, I just can't... I can't sing them anymore. Gosh, now I feel like crying again. Guess reading sad fanfics do contribute to it...
My only available escape in school now is to read my books, especially since I bought Bleach: Memories of Nobody Novelization [Jap]... It helped to distract me from my thoughts as I need to figure the words... Well, it's late now, and I've to go sell stupid flags in public tomorrow morning... and need to entertain my dad's Japanese boss in the evening too... My homeworks' not done yet too. And I haven't asked for permission to go to AiJing's house to teach her a little of the ternor sax, and to learn about rollerskating too.
Ja ne, oyasumi nasai. I'll be here always, till the day I fade away into the silhoutte...